08/13/2024

my band got to perform our last set (until returning from the hiatus in 2025) on the 12th, though we were initially supposed to play on the 11th. there was a big ass fire and citywide power outage that had us delay to the next day, but the show was still really good even though it was delayed. i hurt my knee super bad during our first song because i dropped to my knees and landed on a metal extension cord... despite that, we played our hearts out and got people moshing and dancing, which always makess me feel like a show was successful. i truly love playing with my band, they're all such good friends of mine.

my going away party was also a big success! the funeral theme was super well recieved by all my friends and they all wrote eulogies as a little going away speech, and everybody was both heartfelt and super funny. i expected more of a roast than a heartfelt goodbye, but a couple of my friends brought me to tears. i'm so grateful for them every day! i am going to miss them more than words can describe. speaking of which, i am still anxious about leaving, and it has sunk in a lot more as the days have passed. i'm effectively all packed and ready to go, and each minute that passes feels like im drawing nearer to a terrifying new reality. it's a cool reality, sure, but its a new one and it being new is what will always make things scary.

im hanging out with one of my friends from high school now, who is back in town for the month, and it's a total throwback. it's one hell of a way to wrap up my time here (temporarily.) i'm also going to see my guitarist later today so he can buy me a carton of cigarettes for my trip, and i have to remember to buy nicotine patches for the flight too. it's all a lot of small, unimportant stuff i have to take care of. maybe i'll write more later tonight or tomorrow about everything, 'cause i still have a lot to take care of and writing an entry feels like a waste of time, even if it isn't. i'm super hoping my therapist gets back to me on the health form i need BEFORE i leave, otherwise... um... i'll have to get it done somehow. bleh.

forever yours,

willow

@Repth